The Secret But True Story of Network News and The Happy Pill

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A scene from Network News: NAJ screen shot

Satire – Fiction – Film Proposal - 
By Glynn Wilson
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Here’s a movie script idea for Netflix or one of the other streaming companies.

FADE UP FROM BLACK – A secret cabal of corporate executives are huddled in a conference room in a New York skyscraper.

They are watching video clips on a big screen of people being considered for jobs in high-paying national television news jobs, and looking at dossiers on the table in front of them showing applicants’ entire personal history, including work and credit histories, medical files and DNA records.

Candidates are rejected one by one. Only a few of the most perfect candidates are picked for final interviews.

SCENE CHANGE – A black Lincoln Continental town car driven by a chaffier pulls up to the Algonquin Hotel Times Square. A phone call is made.

A perfectly handsome man emerges from the hotel and gets into the car.

An old man in a conservative, hand tailored suit sits in the back seat. A younger women in the front seat turns around and hands the handsome man a small case. He opens it.

Inside are a platinum credit car, a hotel suite card, a car key dongle and a pill bottle.

“Welcome to the top of the world,” the old man says. “Don’t screw it up.”

“What are the pills for?” the handsome man asks.

“That’s what we like to call the happy pill,” the old man says. “If you want to succeed, take it every morning at 4 a.m. sharp. They don’t call it happy news for nothing.”

So now you know. That’s the secret.

These handpicked television news celebrities are heavily screened, always remain under constant surveillance so they don’t screw up and become a liability for “the company,” and they are forced to take the new drug Huey Lewis said he wanted in his hit song in 1984.

The pharmaceutical companies developed it. But it is so expensive and hard to make that only the richest and most powerful people in the world can afford it.

Now you know why morning news talking heads look so happy at 7 or 8 in the morning — even when the news is so bad it looks like the end of the world — when most people are struggling to get out of bed and make the coffee.

What happens when someone at the top tries to get off the drug and escape the constant surveillance?

A number of scenarios could be developed.

See what happened to Charlie Rose at CBS and PBS.

You think he was fired and ghosted because he took a shower in the nude on a Long Island beach and for sleeping with an intern?

Think again.

The #MeToo movement was not just orchestrated by women to run men out of the business in sex scandals so they could get those high paying, high profile jobs themselves. It was created by the company to keep everyone in line to protect the bottom line.

This is a story of capitalism. Democracy has nothing to do with it.

ROLL CREDITS



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