American Exceptionalism?

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Eschew Obfuscation
By Michael Douglass –



Michael Wade Douglass

It’s like deja vu all over again.

One nation, under God, with liberty and justice for all, has been at war for all but 21 years in its 238 year existence.


The talking heads tell us there’s no way air strikes alone will extinguish the latest bogeyman called ISIS or ISIL or whatever the fuck. After all, they beheaded three westerners live on video. It was on on TV in 3D and HD over and over and over. So our plan is to arm and train and fund the “moderate rebels”. Nevermind that we’re fine with Saudi Arabia, one of the most brutally violent, archaic, misogynist, serial public beheading regimes in the entire world. The Saudis do this shit every week.

Breakfast and then on to the decapitation.

Cocktails at three. Virgins at six.

We thoroughly enjoy trade with North Korea.

Not Cuba, those people are savages.

But this Islamic State. We must stop THESE bastards.

I don’t want to alarm you, but they are under your bed as we speak. Really. Not Cubans or North Koreans but yes, Muslims with murder in their hearts. Don’t look. Just make sure you’re locked and loaded. Batteries in your flashlights.

The talking heads are conditioning us to accept that this will be a protracted campaign. There won’t be boots on the ground though, not unless absolutely necessary. Wink. Wink.

All this despite the experts pointing out that there is no existential threat to America whatsoever.

Can I interest you in a bridge or some swamp land?

War is just America’s way of saying it loves you. It loves you so much we created, funded and armed the enemy. It loves you so much you now have no choice but to fear for no goddamn reason. America loves you so much, it understands we all have too much money and the ones who have a shitload of it just don’t have enough. America loves you so much that we’re going to have yet another war to correct that whole wealth distribution thing.

America is very sorry that Darth Cheney’s empire only made $39 billion last time.
America loves you so much that it was forced to turn your local police departments into militarized testosterone fueled terrorists to combat the lowest violent crime rate in decades. America loves you so much that you’re way more likely to be killed by a cop than a terrorist. Way more likely to be killed by your own gun. America is glad that you actually fear terrorists more than your local police though.

America loves you so much that it also has to foment an insidious gun culture so pervasive and perverted that nine year old girls are accidentally shooting people to death at gun ranges with goddamn Uzis.

Your government loves you so much that it is going to lie to you for as long as possible about being at war until it cannot possibly deny that we’re at war again. When that critical mass is achieved, your government will start telling you that the war is being won.

The problem is thus, if we actually win a war, that war should end. They will tell you we are winning but they will be more and more reluctant to concede we’ve actually won. Even though we haven’t actually won a war for 60 years. We do not actually win wars. It’s beside the point. The people who profit cease to make AS MUCH if the war is actually over.

America loves you so much, it tries very hard to not actually end wars, even if there is a solution to the conflict.

Because then they will have to undertake the arduous recreation of starting yet another war with another foe or country or religion.

America understands that loving you means never having to say it is sorry.

Because America doesn’t give a mad fuck about Americans.

Being American means you never have to be sorry about anything at all.

Drinks for my friends.

Republished with permission from BrainSpank.Org.

© 2014, Glynn Wilson. All rights reserved.